http://candeohealthysexuality.com The Candeo Program is an online training program that is designed to shed new light on the scientifically proven reality of pornography addiction, and to bring about healing through a revolutionary approach to learning and behavior modification. Sat, 11 Feb 2012 19:32:50 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.1 The Candeo Program is an online training system that is designed to shed new light on the scientifically proven reality of pornography addiction, and to bring about healing through a revolutionary approach to learning and behavior modification. The Candeo Program is an online training program that is designed to shed new light on the scientifically proven reality of pornography addiction, and to bring about healing through a revolutionary approach to learning and behavior modification. Mark B. Kastleman, Dr. Randy Hyde, Dr. Bernell Christensen http://stg.candeocan.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/Podcast-banner-generic.jpghttp://candeohealthysexuality.com Pornography, Addiction, Sex, Family, Marriage, Relationship, Health no Candeo webmaster@candeocan.com http://candeohealthysexuality.com/porn-sex-addiction-can-trap-anyone-at-any-age/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/porn-sex-addiction-can-trap-anyone-at-any-age/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:04:48 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeohealthysexuality.com/?p=6442 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/porn-sex-addiction-can-trap-anyone-at-any-age/feed/ 0 Mark Kastleman http://candeohealthysexuality.com/new-years-resolutions-a-formula-for-failure-2/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/new-years-resolutions-a-formula-for-failure-2/#comments Fri, 06 Jan 2012 22:40:23 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeohealthysexuality.com/?p=6400 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/new-years-resolutions-a-formula-for-failure-2/feed/ 1 To Download the text for this podcast, click here. To Download the text for this podcast, click here. Mark Kastleman http://candeohealthysexuality.com/is-there-a-case-for-healthy-masturbation/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/is-there-a-case-for-healthy-masturbation/#comments Mon, 11 Jul 2011 21:40:19 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeohealthysexuality.com/?p=5516 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/is-there-a-case-for-healthy-masturbation/feed/ 23 By Mark Kastleman & Dr. Mark Chamberlain After decades of experience helping individuals overcome unwanted sexual behaviors, Dr. Mark Chamberlain has valuable insights that can help Candeo Students. In this interview with Mark Kastleman, Dr. Chamberlain shares his views on masturbation. By Mark Kastleman & Dr. Mark Chamberlain After decades of experience helping individuals ... http://candeohealthysexuality.com/please-help-me/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/please-help-me/#comments Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:26:15 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeohealthysexuality.com/?p=5543 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/please-help-me/feed/ 42 Looking for help in overcoming unwanted sexual behaviors? You’ve found the right place! What’s remarkable about Candeo is that you’ll know very quickly if this program is for you. Some of you write: “Please Help Me,” or “What do I do now?” Look straight ahead: the help is right here! Looking for help in overcoming unwanted sexual behaviors? You’ve found the right place! What’s remarkable about Candeo is that you’ll know very quickly if this program is for you. Some of you write: “Please Help Me,” or “What do I do [...] http://candeohealthysexuality.com/podcast-can-you-really-change-your-unwanted-sexual-behaviors/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/podcast-can-you-really-change-your-unwanted-sexual-behaviors/#comments Thu, 09 Dec 2010 20:21:39 +0000 Candeo http://candeohealthysexuality.com/?p=140 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/podcast-can-you-really-change-your-unwanted-sexual-behaviors/feed/ 4 Is “real” lasting change actually possible? What are the signs and the evidence that you’re truly changing your unwanted sexual behaviors? Written Transcript of the above Podcast Hi, this is Candeo Co-Founder Mark Kastleman. Today I want to talk about the process of change. You may be wondering, “How will I know when I’ve really changed?” “How do I know I’m making true change and not just stuck in another avoidance cycle or control phase?” Or as one Candeo Student put it, “I’ve been working hard in the program and wondering when I’ll know that I’ve really changed?” As you can imagine, here at Candeo we get these questions a lot, both from our Students and their spouses or partners. Of course, there are no specific answers that fit every person or situation. But the process of developing real and lasting change is accompanied by certain attitudes and behaviors that will tell you you’re on the right path. First, if are going to talk about the signs of true change, then of course we have to talk about the human brain. When I hear someone ask the question, “How will I know if I’m changing?” my first response is, you are always changing. The human body and brain are all about change. For example, every minute 30 to 40,000 dead skin cells fall from your body and approximately a month’s time your body is made all whole new layer of skin. Every minute, 300 million cells in your body die and are immediately replaced with 300 million new cells. And when it comes to the human brain, change is constant. Every piece of information that we take in through our five senses from the world around us alters our neural connections; every thought changes our brain circuitry. So, by our very makeup we are built for constant change. So the question is not “Am I changing?” but rather “How am I changing?” Throughout the candidate training, we constantly talk about the fact that the human brain is “neuro-plastic,” meaning that is moldable and shapeable. Based on the thoughts that we consistently allow to dwell on the stage of our minds, and the behaviors we repeatedly act out, we literally “build our own brain circuitry.” If we have an unwanted sexual behavior circuitry that has been built over time, we can shrink that circuitry and replace it with new healthy behavior circuitry. This is what the candeo programming tools are all about – molding and shaping the brain so that over time we can acquire the life and relationships we desire most. So, we know by our very nature that we’re changing all the time. But how do we know if we’re changing for the better; if we’re overcoming our unwanted behaviors and moving forward on our desired path? Some of you might be thinking, “Oh come on Mark, it’s not that complicated. You know you’ve changed if you stop doing your unwanted behaviors.” Whether we realize it or not, change isn’t that simple. We build unwanted behaviors over years or decades of repetition, and then expect that we can change those behaviors overnight. Change is not a single event – it’s a process, a journey where we learn, grow and evolve over time. And when we measure our success solely on whether or not we have completely eliminated an unwanted behavior from our lives, we deprive ourselves of the wonderful experience of recognizing and celebrating all of the little successes along the way. In essence, when we focus only on the desired destination, we miss much of the miracle and wonder of the journey itself. What are some of the the signs of change—the evidence that someone is really changing? Keep in mind that the following is not meant to be a comprehensive list of all the signs of change. These are some of the leading indicators of change that will help you determine where you are on your own journey. Use this as an opportunity to discover and celebrate your successes and to identify areas where you would like to improve. 1. A powerful motive—when [...] Is “real” lasting change actually possible? What are the signs and the evidence ... http://candeohealthysexuality.com/podcast-what-got-you-into-your-sexual-addiction-can-get-you-out/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/podcast-what-got-you-into-your-sexual-addiction-can-get-you-out/#comments Tue, 23 Nov 2010 22:05:19 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=4989 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/podcast-what-got-you-into-your-sexual-addiction-can-get-you-out/feed/ 3 Whether you realize it or not, a lot of persistent and consistent behavior has built your sexual addiction. You can learn how to take that same persistent, consistent ability and use it to begin breaking free. Hi, this is Candeo co-founder Mark Kastleman. As we help people all over the world get on the path to overcoming their unwanted sexual behaviors, one of the things we often teach is the fact that “the same kind of process that got you into your unwanted behaviors and addictions can get you out.” I want to talk about that a little bit today. There are two virtually interchangeable words that help illustrate this principle. These word embody the things that I think are the special ingredients in the recipe for change. The two words are persistent and consistent. Without these two, all of the wonderful tools, techniques, training and technology within candeo wouldn’t be very effective. They must be persistently and consistently applied. Now when I say the same kind of process that gets us into our addictions can get us out, if you think about it, being persistent and consistent really applies. The way we develop these entrenched habits and addictions is we consistently and persistently pursue them in our lives until they become automatic, the brain goes on autopilot. It really is that consistent and persistent process that gets us into these addictions that are so hard to break out of. Let’s talk about persistency and consistency. These are simple ideas—we pretty much understand what they are. But unfortunately they’re some of the most difficult parts of the process of change. If you look at these words and their definitions they simply mean “the act of repeating a behavior over and over again, over time.” And the synonyms that go along with these words would be things like tenacity, doggedness, determination, perseverance. And of course you can see that the definition and the synonyms really do apply to how we build unwanted behaviors and addictions over time, and why they’re so strong, so set and so entrenched. The key lies in how to apply persistency inconsistency to the process of breaking free—to a recovery process. Sounds easy and simple right? If I apply the same process that got me into this mess, I should be able to apply it to get out. Well, there are a couple of things about the human brain and behavior that make that process difficult. First, we have a hard time understanding that there is a difference between what we call initial brain activation and long-term brain restructuring. Whenever we have a desire to change – we read a book, listen to a seminar, or come onto this website listen to a podcast, read an article or listen to Candeo student’s success we think, ” I really want to do this, I’m going to start changing right now.” And so, like a racehorse we burst out of the gate and speed down the track filled with energy and enthusiasm. Fueled by the novelty, the newness, the excitement and anticipation of the information, we can actually make some initial short-term changes. The problem is, as that racehorse charges down the track, after a while it’s going to tire, slow down and eventually collapse on the track. It runs out of that initial energy and excitement. This is the same thing that happens with the human brain and behavior change. Initial enthusiasm and excitement are enough to get us out of the gate, and around the track a couple of times, but it isn’t enough to help us continue long term and being persistent and consistent in the change process. So rather than a racehorse, we need to think of ourselves as a workhorse that comes out of the gate slow and steady, and plods down the track one step at a time, doing the hard work of change day after day, and can go for as long as it takes to build the long-term brain restructuring. Remember, you didn’t form your unwanted behaviors or addiction overnight. It took a lot of repetition, consistency and persistency [...] Whether you realize it or not, a lot of persistent and consistent behavior ... http://candeohealthysexuality.com/stop-objectifying-yourself/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/stop-objectifying-yourself/#comments Thu, 18 Nov 2010 17:39:04 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=4977 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/stop-objectifying-yourself/feed/ 1 One of the subtle and hard-to-recognize practices that keeps us trapped in unwanted sexual behaviors is “self-objectification.” Are you treating yourself like an object, a thing, as opposed to a valuable, remarkable human being of unmatched intrinsic worth? One of the subtle and hard-to-recognize practices that keeps us trapped in unwanted ... http://candeohealthysexuality.com/are-sexual-slips-a-normal-part-of-recovery/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/are-sexual-slips-a-normal-part-of-recovery/#comments Thu, 04 Nov 2010 18:39:32 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=4929 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/are-sexual-slips-a-normal-part-of-recovery/feed/ 7 As an individual tries to overcome unwanted sexual behaviors, are “slips” a normal part of the recovery process? If so, can they become an excuse or rationalization to keep going back to unwanted behaviors? As an individual tries to overcome unwanted sexual behaviors, are “slips” a normal ... http://candeohealthysexuality.com/it-is-hard-to-be-honest/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/it-is-hard-to-be-honest/#comments Fri, 29 Oct 2010 19:29:38 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=4902 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/it-is-hard-to-be-honest/feed/ 14 When a struggling individual is trying overcome unwanted sexual behaviors, it’s hard to be honest with a spouse or partner. It’s also hard for that partner not to react in a negative way. What’s going on in the mind of each partner? When a struggling individual is trying overcome unwanted sexual behaviors, it’s hard to ... http://candeohealthysexuality.com/are-you-leading-a-double-life/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/are-you-leading-a-double-life/#comments Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:36:43 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=4883 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/are-you-leading-a-double-life/feed/ 6 Many who suffer with unwanted sexual behaviors loathe themselves for living a “double-life.” They have a difficult time separating their valuable and unique “true self” from their behaviors. Many who suffer with unwanted sexual behaviors loathe themselves for living a “double-life.” ... http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-36-i-thought-porn-would-improve-my-relationship/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-36-i-thought-porn-would-improve-my-relationship/#comments Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:57:49 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=4836 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-36-i-thought-porn-would-improve-my-relationship/feed/ 3 Growing numbers of couples believe that bringing porn into the bedroom will enhance their intimacy and connection—here are the facts. Growing numbers of couples believe that bringing porn into the bedroom will enhance ... http://candeohealthysexuality.com/what-keeps-you-from-giving-up-your-unwanted-sexual-behaviors/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/what-keeps-you-from-giving-up-your-unwanted-sexual-behaviors/#comments Tue, 20 Jul 2010 20:14:38 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=4827 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/what-keeps-you-from-giving-up-your-unwanted-sexual-behaviors/feed/ 6 Your brain doesn’t want to give up your existing habits—especially sexual behaviors. Your brain throws up barriers to keep these behaviors in place. Your brain doesn’t want to give up your existing habits—especially sexual behaviors. Your ... http://candeohealthysexuality.com/how-can-my-partner-have-cybersex-while-i-am-sleeping/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/how-can-my-partner-have-cybersex-while-i-am-sleeping/#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 19:17:11 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=4805 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/how-can-my-partner-have-cybersex-while-i-am-sleeping/feed/ 10 How can a guy engage in cybersex in the same room where his wife if sleeping? It’s all about the “brain science of chemical dependency. How can a guy engage in cybersex in the same room where his ... http://candeohealthysexuality.com/my-sexual-fantasies-dont-involve-my-wife/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/my-sexual-fantasies-dont-involve-my-wife/#comments Tue, 08 Jun 2010 20:47:02 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=4078 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/my-sexual-fantasies-dont-involve-my-wife/feed/ 7 There is a common attitude that some men in the world share—”I’d try some kinky sexual fantasies or acts with a girlfriend or prostitute, but not with my wife.” Learn why this attitude illustrates a serious misconception and ignorance about what “true intimacy” really is. Learn now you can enjoy the most “evolved” level of sexual intimacy. There is a common attitude that some men in the world share—”I’d try ... Intimacy, True Intimacy, Sexual Intimacy, Fantasy vs. Intimacy, Sex in Marriage http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-%e2%80%93-episode-32-%e2%80%93-why-is-my-partner-having-cybersex/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-%e2%80%93-episode-32-%e2%80%93-why-is-my-partner-having-cybersex/#comments Tue, 25 May 2010 17:57:49 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=4000 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-%e2%80%93-episode-32-%e2%80%93-why-is-my-partner-having-cybersex/feed/ 10 This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. Episode 32. May 25, 2010. With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, “Why is My Partner Having Cybersex?” Unwanted sexual outlets and behaviors are NOT about “sex,” any more than alcohol and drugs are about the liquid and the powder. Sexual outlets can create a “chemical dependency” just as powerful as street drugs. This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. ... http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-31-is-masturbation-a-healthy-outlet/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-31-is-masturbation-a-healthy-outlet/#comments Wed, 10 Feb 2010 19:06:32 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=3759 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-31-is-masturbation-a-healthy-outlet/feed/ 10 This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. Episode 31. February 10, 2010. With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, “Is Masturbation a Healthy Outlet?” This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. Episode 31. February 10, 2010. With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, "Is Masturbation a Healthy Outlet?" http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-30-perfection-and-porn/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-30-perfection-and-porn/#comments Fri, 15 Jan 2010 19:19:09 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=3701 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-30-perfection-and-porn/feed/ 13 This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. Episode 30. January 15, 2010. With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, “Perfection and Porn” This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. Episode 30. January 15, 2010. With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, "Perfection and Porn" http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-29-i-cant-forgive-myself-for-my-porn-use/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-29-i-cant-forgive-myself-for-my-porn-use/#comments Wed, 02 Dec 2009 20:26:37 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=3658 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-29-i-cant-forgive-myself-for-my-porn-use/feed/ 20 This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. Episode 29. December 2, 2009. With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, “I Can’t Forgive Myself for My Porn Use!” This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. Episode 29. December 2, 2009. With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, "I Can't Forgive Myself for My Porn Use!" http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-28-use-your-porn-cycle-timing-to-get-the-help-you-need/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-28-use-your-porn-cycle-timing-to-get-the-help-you-need/#comments Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:16:36 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=3631 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-28-use-your-porn-cycle-timing-to-get-the-help-you-need/feed/ 5 This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. Episode 28. November 3, 2009. With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, “Use Your “Porn Cycle Timing” to Get the Help You Need.” —————– Candeo is Devoted to Helping Pornography Addicts Start Down the Path of Healing Candeo is an online organization whose mission is to educate and train individuals about the realistic, scientifically proven nature of Pornography Addiction. It is estimated that in the U.S. alone, there are more than 60 million individuals, including men, women and children, caught up in Internet Pornography Addiction at some level. Pornography use is having a dramatic impact on their individual lives, families and society as a whole. Candeo’s groundbreaking training system is an online Pornography Addiction Psycho-Education & Training System. This website contains many resources to help you learn more about this exciting new approach to helping those who are Addicted to Pornography. To learn more and sign up for a FREE sample mini-course click HERE. This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. Episode 28. November 3, 2009. With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, "Use Your “Porn Cycle Timing” to Get the Help You Need." http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-27-break-free-from-porn-addiction-using-your-plastic-brain/ http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-27-break-free-from-porn-addiction-using-your-plastic-brain/#comments Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:46:03 +0000 Mark Kastleman http://candeocan.com/?p=3605 http://candeohealthysexuality.com/candeo-podcast-episode-27-break-free-from-porn-addiction-using-your-plastic-brain/feed/ 2 This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. Episode 27. October 6, 2009. With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, “Break Free from Porn Addiction Using Your “Plastic” Brain.” —————– Candeo is Devoted to Helping Pornography Addicts Start Down the Path of Healing Candeo is an online organization whose mission is to educate and train individuals about the realistic, scientifically proven nature of Pornography Addiction. It is estimated that in the U.S. alone, there are more than 60 million individuals, including men, women and children, caught up in Internet Pornography Addiction at some level. Pornography use is having a dramatic impact on their individual lives, families and society as a whole. Candeo’s groundbreaking training system is an online Pornography Addiction Psycho-Education & Training System. This website contains many resources to help you learn more about this exciting new approach to helping those who are Addicted to Pornography. To learn more and sign up for a FREE sample mini-course click HERE. This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction. Episode 27. October 6, 2009. With Mark Kastleman. This weeks episode is titled, "Break Free from Porn Addiction Using Your "Plastic" Brain."