Play this Episode:
This is the Official Podcast from Candeo. The Answer For Your Porn Addiction.
Episode 25. August 14, 2009. With Mark Kastleman.
This weeks episode is titled, “Maybe I’m Not Ready to Give Up Porn.”
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Candeo is Devoted to Helping Pornography Addicts Start Down the Path of Healing
Candeo is an online organization whose mission is to educate and train individuals about the realistic, scientifically proven nature of Pornography Addiction.
It is estimated that in the U.S. alone, there are more than 60 million individuals, including men, women and children, caught up in Internet Pornography Addiction at some level. Pornography use is having a dramatic impact on their individual lives, families and society as a whole.
Candeo’s groundbreaking training system is an online Pornography Addiction Psycho-Education & Training System. This website contains many resources to help you learn more about this exciting new approach to helping those who are Addicted to Pornography.
To learn more and sign up for a FREE sample mini-course click HERE.
struggling
August 19, 2009 • 1:11 pm
I like what you are saying and am always encouraged by what I find on this website. The thing that gets me is that it costs so friggin’ much for the course. I know you always talk about how being free from porn is priceless but it really is hard to spend this kind of money, especially if you are on a shared account and don’t want significant other to know. I have done the mini-course but there has got to be something more!
Aaron
August 20, 2009 • 9:21 am
I agree with struggling. I have done the mini-course and I listen to and read every email that I get. I would love to sign up and get everything this has to offer, but I too share an account and don’t want my spouse to know. Plus, money is tight. I know that I am just making excuses, but I don’t want my wife to found about my problem by seeing a charge on our account.
Derek
August 20, 2009 • 3:51 pm
I can understand your not wanting your spouse to know, none of us do. But at the same time…she can be a huge supprt to you. One thing ive learned, at least in my case, is that if i am looking at porn and trying to hide it from her, i always “get caught” and let me tell you, “getting caught” red handed with porn on the computer or whatever it may be, is much, MUCH worse than actually confessing it to her willfully. Especially if its in the context of, “i want you to know ive had this certain problem for years, but Im getting help for myself because i love you and want to be a better person and dont want to do this anymore.” I know with my spouse, while it will still hurt her when i have a slip, she is very supportive and appreciative when i come to her and tell her ive had a slip and what ive done to try to correct it so that wont happen again, rather than her finding it on her own and thinking im not really trying and im still looking at porn but trying to hide it. Just some thoughts. The full program is well worth the money. There is so much more to learn than you get from the mini-course, and i recommend that if its within your financial means, at all costs, do sign up for the full program. Im going on my third month in the program, and yeah money is tight, but im so grateful for the program and feel it was the best decision ive ever made.
Anonymous
August 24, 2009 • 8:30 am
Listen to what the two guys are saying! They have not been caught yet and do not want to tell their wives of the problem. Isn’t the MAIN issue their desire to get help? I feel it very understandable that they do not want to hurt their spouse by telling her IF they can get help without informing her. If you guys are NOT able to understand that perspective, then you may have to go back for some additional study on guys and the REAL fear of hurting their wives if it can be avoided.
Nick
August 31, 2009 • 9:48 pm
I realize that they don’t want to hurt their wives. Also, it may also be that they want to avoid the embarrassment of coming clean to a loved one (I can relate). But the point is, coming clean to a loved one can be a tremendous help to your cause, as someone you love will probably be more supportive of what you’re trying to do than anybody else will.
So, I understand where they’re coming from, but your spouse can be a potentially untapped resource in this road to recovery.
30yrsold
September 8, 2009 • 12:42 am
So I’m stuck in this place:
Mark mentions what “cost” him:
creativity
distraction
fantasizing
relationships deteriorated
mood swings
unpredictable to people
self-sabotaging business pursuits (to repay for being “bad”)
time lost
compassion
He mentioned feeling “bad” or shame after he used to “act out.”
He mentioned hating his life when he was addicted.
He felt Porn, etc. was in the way of doing great things – hard to focus on much else – all consuming.
When I act out now, it’s quick and serves the purpose of “release.” I do it when I’m working hard/up late, etc. or desiring pleasure. I used to resonate with all of the things he mentioned, but now I don’t. I did away with all the “costs” without doing away with the addiction strangely enough. I no longer feel shame, feel unloved, unworthy, etc. by removing the lie that God doesn’t love me. I no longer fantasize – I stay the hell away from that now – because I want to live a REAL life. I feel it’s my “faith” and what others think that keeps me thinking I need to rid this addiction. But the costs and “ill’s” mentioned are gone in my life. I want to love my future wife fully someday and that’s been my reason to look into this. When the going get’s tough my brain is still convinced that Porn is an ok way out. I’m clued into the fact that I think my brain may be hijacked and looking at porn is not the picture of marriage I wanted as a kid, but I seem to believe that a “better” life would be possible with porn being the natural release that makes self love and care a big part of that fulfillment. My brain’s desire to “be done with it already” is strong, and because it’s so hard to beat, I think I may be raising the positives and minimizing the negatives. It’s just that I don’t fully believe in the negatives (loss of family, respect, love with spouse & above mentioned “costs/ills”). I somehow think it’s actually possible to have my cake and eat it too.
I have yet to find answers to these struggles/questions anywhere including Candeo, and I’m going through the paid program, albeit pretty early on (everything has been pretty insightful though!), so I am open to guidance…I just am hoping to be met where I’m at, and haven’t had these things spoken into…yet. Any thoughts?
Dana
October 3, 2009 • 8:05 pm
Well 30 years old,
I have been the wife of a porn addict for 13 years. I only found out 2 years ago that he has been lying to me for most of our married life. If you really want your wife to be to believe you love her above everything else except God, then you need to give up the porn and get on with your life. If for no other reason than the fact that God does not condone the viewing of pornography. If I were to tell all of my feelings about his deception I would go into a terrible monolog(sp). Anyway, even if you don’t have feelings of guilt, try on how you would feel if the woman you love was viewing her own pornography. Try swapping the role and see if you can be the loved one on the sidelines. Can you ponder that thought long enough to feel something akin to sorrow? If so, then make the changes you need to, because you want to love someone real, someone more than you care about yourself.
breakneckhatredspeed619
June 4, 2010 • 6:17 pm
Is there a deadly combination in Porn and ADD/ADHD symptoms combined?