I just want you to know that you’re not alone. I feel for you. I’m right there with you. It sucks. We love these men with all we have, but for some reason, they don’t seem to care that they are hurting us with this addiction. And honestly, lately I’m having a difficult time believing my boyfriend has an addiction. I’m just starting to think he likes it, and doesn’t give a sweet eff at all that it bothers me. Just the way he speaks “AT” me and the things he does…it’s just all starting to wear me down. Not starting to…continuing to. We’re beyond the ability to have a conversation about porn. I did confront him about the webcam site, and he actually deleted the app from his phone. That sent me over the moon with joy. And during that argument, I asked him if he could be more open with his addiction and porn watching. I think it would make it easier if the topic want so “taboo”. And it did seem to get better for about a month. But then, things went downhill again. And he said the three words that send me over the edge. “Get Over It.” Why are we, the women trapped in a nightmare that isn’t ours, the ones that have to “get over it”? I can’t picture a future with this man anymore, but I can’t picture my life without him either.

I try to live with it. Try to pretend it isn’t hurting me. I make an effort. I’ve with lingerie around the house 3 nights in a row, and got no response. I can not, literally, remember the last time he told me I looked nice. Haven’t heard the words pretty, beautiful or sexy. He says the porn is nothing to do with me, but when I feel like he’s not even turned on by me anymore, how can I not assume it has something to do with me. I’m simply not enough anymore. I checked his office today and find his hidden bottle of lube. He used to use the stuff we had in the bedroom, but he used it so much that a bottle would be gone and we’d only had sex once our twice. So now, he buys his item bottles and god only knows how often he needs a new bottle. Ask the times he says he’s tired or whatever his excuse is for not having sex, now I know it’s probably because he’s exhausted himself. How is this supposed to help me believe it has nothing to do with me?

I haven’t had any visits to the hospital, but, I can guarantee you, my boyfriend would probably be looking at porn while I was there. Your story made me sad for you, but tragically, didn’t seem like anything out of the ordinary. I’m just becoming numb now. It’s scary, but…when you love someone….

I’ve never been in a relationship for more than a month, and there are several occasions where my addiction to masterbation has caused me to become no longer attracted to my partner. I’ve been in love a couple of times, but now I find it almost impossible to feel attracted to a girl beyond their looks. It’s a terrifying place to be, because I fear for my future.

I’ve never been addicted to anything else, so I can’t comment on being drug or alcohol addiction, but for me, addiction to masterbation may well be one of the hardest to overcome: you don’t have to pay for it, it’s not illegal, it’s only a few clicks away and often you convince yourself that it’s not harmful or damaging to anyone else. And it’s forced on us everywhere we look – films, TV, adverts, even the ordinary attractive woman walking down the streets.

I’ve tried several times to give up, but this site has made me realise that I’ve been going about it the wrong way. I’ve been trying to stop entirely without looking at the deeper cause, and often I’ll be thinking about masterbation subconsciously. I tell myself that I’ll just look on a website because that can’t do any harm, and I’m already past the point of no return. I realise now that you need to change the way you think, to celebrate that we are weak and human.

But perhaps the hardest trick to learn is to pick yourself up after you fall. So many times I’ve attempted to stop masterbating, and then once I fail I feel useless and angry with myself, and I fall down the hole again all the way to the bottom. We need to learn to live with failure, but not to see it as a failure of ourselves, but that we can pick ourselves up and realise that in failing, we haven’t fallen down the hole but have merely stumbled. We can all crawl out of this hole and climb towards the light.

I’m a Catholic, and I’d like to share something that I learned recently. Within Catholicism, people understand that sin is a bad thing that you musn’t do, but there’s more to it than that. The word sin comes from the Greek word hamartia, which came from the Greek archers when they missed their target and literally means to ‘miss the mark’. The fact that masterbation is considered a sin shouldn’t just mean that it’s a bad thing, but that it’s simply ‘missing the mark.’ We try to aim towards something that is good, but we misinterpret it. In this case, the sexual act is meant to be the chemical glue that bonds a man and woman together to form a partnership. This is a good thing. But what we so often do is to miss the mark and instead just try to please ourselves. This is a natural thing, but it isn’t good, for us or for others. We just need to readjust our aim to something more positive.

I’ll be praying for you all, and if you have any faith, I ask that you pray for me too. God bless.

Do you want to be free from all desires?
and if they say yes, then it’s a want.
Therefore, it is impossible to eliminate all desires.

Also,
Willpower can only be applied to the positive, not a negative void.

If you try to create a negative void, something will always be there to fill it so you will be in a constant war against something that is desperate to “fill your void”

and if you insist on the use of willpower, know that willpower is best spent on building good habits,
because if not, then your willpower goes to waste.

The term “illicit sex” implies that you have a moral code that tells you what is legal and illegal. You talk about the desire for sexual relations as being a “sacred power” which is only lawful to express in the “sacred bonds” of marriage. So, you are not actually teaching them how to “bridle” the horse of sexual desire, you are teaching them to keep the horse in the barn, until its time for the race. Such a horse will not be prepared for the race in that analogy.

I think this article would be better if it included specific instruction on healthy sexual expression for teens and less moralizing. As long as you suggest that all sexual expression must occur in marriage, then you continue to promote shame and false guilt into kid’s lives. As long as you promote abstinence and postponement of marriage, you are living in dream land. The horses will find a way to get out of the stall when the mares are in heat. God told people that if they desire sex, they should have sex, not be celibate. Those who have consensual sex as committed partners are said to be “one flesh” and they should never be separated by man according to Jesus.

DO IT SERIOUSLY
YOU CAN DO IT… !!