I heard an interesting thing the other day. There was a discussion about pornography and whether or not it can be addicting. You can’t believe what I heard.
It started with a story on a national news channel that I saw. Some friends at work saw it as well and we began to discuss it. Among the 4 of us there were two camps. One camp said ‘No way. It can’t be addicting. It’s fun. It’s good for a marriage. What’s wrong with a little porn?’. Three of them were in that camp. I was in the other.
Here’s why.
This is an interesting story from a Candeo student. Many individuals just like him are confronting the issue of pornography addiction. Many find their relationships and their very lives in peril as a result of this trap. The Candeo recovery program is a valuable resource, one aspect of it in particular. This student explains.
I’ve been addicted to porn for roughly 15 years. It started when I was a teen and if got worse and worse every year. When I went in the military it got even worse. You can’t believe the availability of porn in the barracks. Service men away from loved ones are consumed with it. Some military leaders don’t want to acknowledge it but it’s rampant.
From there is became an obsession and the time I spent on the Internet cruising porn sites and downloading videos became all-consuming. I couldn’t get enough.
Then it had to be harder and harder porn. There wasn’t anything too graphic. I became so addicted to masturbating that I could hardly think about anything else. And you can’t believe what would trigger an episode. NEARLY ANYTHING. An advertisement. A photograph. It didn’t need to be even suggestive. I could turn anything into a sexual moment.
I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never been in a serious relationship. Just the thought of talking with a pretty girl sends me immediately into a deep funk. I have to get to the computer and pull up some porn and self-medicate.
You’ve got to realize something. I’m not bragging. I’m not trying to be graphic. The fact is I am completely ashamed. I have been living a life of misery. Very little in life is pleasing to me. Porn and masturbation aren’t even pleasing to me. In fact it’s depressing.
So, when these guys said porn isn’t addicting I thought to myself, ‘If they only knew.’ I couldn’t tell them about my problem but I wanted to shout out, ‘Just ask a porn addict if it’s addicting. Just ask an addict about the hell they are living. Just ask an addict if they think it’s a harmless pastime. Just ask an addict you morons.’ At first I wanted to correct them, then I wanted to smack them. But I slinked back to my cubicle and tried to cool down.
This is a typical story from a Candeo student. A life of misery and suffering. The advice from this student is good: ‘Just ask an addict’. The stories are tragic and painful. They are heart wrenching. Good people in really good marriages and relationships fall prey to this problem. They fall prey to the belief that there is nothing wrong with porn. The fact is, there is nothing right with porn. There isn’t a single redeeming thing about it. It is unnatural to objectify women and their body parts. It is demeaning to women.
And it causes a rush of chemicals to the brain that bonds an individual to fantasy images rather than to a warm and caring relationship. Millions of people are learning these concepts the hard, painful way.
The Candeo online training program can help. The lessons taught at Candeocan.com literally retrain the brain to understand and overcome the damaging effects of a porn addiction. But, just like the student quoted in this story points out, anything can be a trigger for a self-medicating incident.
There was really only one solution. After going through the Candeo program I discovered what was creating my craving. I knew I was addicted and I was determined to do something about it. Was it difficult? Are you kidding me? It’s the hardest thing anyone could ever do. It’s sure the hardest thing I’ve ever done. This is a deep, damning addiction and you can’t change overnight. But you can change. I’m living proof of that.
I had to have a lot of courage and I had to make some drastic changes. Level three of the Candeo program taught me that I have to take charge of my life. They recommended putting a filter on my computer. And I did.
Can I cheat? Can I go around the filter? I’m not sure but probably. But there is an accountability that comes with the filter. They help monitor me and help me avoid the porn. Right now I don’t have the ability to use porn on my computer. It’s gone. I blocked it out. The filter helps me do that.
Using an internet filter to block porn? Is this real, I wondered? I sure wish someone would have told me that 15 years ago. I sure wish I’d never had my first experience with it. I sure hope parents are putting a filter on computers. I hope that there will be even one single kid or their parents that read this and prevents a porn addiction at an early age.
I figure Internet filtering is pretty much like a water filter on my tap. I have really good water out of my tap because I installed a filter. Because the water passes through about 3-4 levels of charcoal etc. only pure, clean water gets through. Harmful elements are trapped.
With an internet filter only the good stuff gets through. The bad stuff is blocked.
Students on the Candeo training program are presented with a couple of options for filtering objectionable material on the web. Parents, especially, have found this helpful in keeping obscenity out of homes. Married couples, likewise, are making the decision to filter their Internet. And for anyone struggling with their addiction it’s an important part of the recovery process. People can’t live without their computers and they have to keep using the Internet. Choosing one of the Internet filtration programs has really made a difference in the recovery rate of most of our students.
So I ask myself, just as you may be asking me: ‘Why not just stop on your own. Why do you need a filter? Just stop.
Those questions are as naive as my three buddies at work. Telling someone to ‘just stop’ is the worst thing anyone can say. It makes the addict feel guilty and the only way to deal with the guilt is to go get a porn fix. People like me need help. We’ve got to have a combination of filtration and help from a recovery resource like Candeo. They give me live coaching and for the first time in my life I feel like someone understands me and is helping me with my challenges. When they told me to filter my Internet I did it. It’s been brutal but I did it. My coach is probably sick of me complaining but I’m doing it. I’m really making progress.
It’s small steps but the small steps are making a big difference. I turned a corner when I started filtering my Internet. It’s kind of a self-imposed restriction but the filtration has really helped me.
When I say my life was pretty much in shambles I mean it literally. Did Internet filtration change my life? No. But all the things I’m learning from Candeo, coupled with my own willingness to block porn at the site, are making a huge difference. HUGE.
Visit the Candeo Recovery Program . If you want to sign up for the free mini-course you can click here.
Signing up for the training program, coupled with Internet filtration, is a great way to reclaim your life and live porn free.
