I Stopped Masturbating

Written by kevindavis on May 16, 2010 in Brain Science of Addiction, Masturbation Addiction, Most Popular - 41 Comments

When I was young we joked about ‘jerking off’ or ‘jacking off,’ of course I knew this was really called masturbating. But calling it “masturbating” sounded like something my health teacher would have said, and certainly didn’t sound much like fun. I grew up thinking of it as something recreational that all guys do. I believed it was perfectly natural, and normal.

It’s not a joke anymore. I became addicted to masturbating. Masturbating had taken over my life.

It’s not a topic that’s easy for anyone to talk about. Dealing with a masturbation addiction is hardly commonplace conversation. It’s widely believed that masturbating is a normal part of growing up and passing through puberty.

But, when a young man matures and begins seeking out pornographic images to stimulate his habit, it can become a frightening addiction. One that very few people understand.

I’m 34 years old and I’ve never been married. I’ve never even been in a serious relationship. Some people have wondered if I’m attracted to women. Are you kidding me?! I spent most of my waking hours buying internet pornography of women to fuel my fantasies. I love women but I’d pretty much shrunk into this dark world where I couldn’t look a woman in her face. Every pretty woman triggered my desire and the only way to find satisfaction was to jump on the web and get a porn fix as fast as I could. When something like that becomes a compulsion I’d say that’s pretty much an addiction. That’s sure how it was for me.

The topic of sexual addiction has been hotly debated in the last few years. Many people talk about the moral and social implications of pornography and work hard to keep pornography out of the hands of families and children. Others, including Hollywood and the Media try to convince us that it is a harmless pastime. Some go so far as to suggest that it can be helpful in a marriage. But the reality is this: Millions of dollars are spent and wasted every single day by people viewing pornography on the Web. Productivity at work is down, divorce rate is through the roof, and families are being ripped apart.

Yet, there continues to be a segment of society that says, “There’s nothing wrong with porn.” People are free to choose what they view in the privacy of their own homes, but they naively start viewing pornography because of this misinformed attitude, which leaves many thousands of destroyed people in porn’s wake.

Here is the disheartening fact: To many individuals pornography is addicting. It can be as addicting as street drugs, like cocaine, because of the way pornographic images release chemicals in the brain. And for individuals who actively view pornography and then masturbate, it becomes a toxic mixture.

I am a masturbation addict. I am a pornography addict. I didn’t know I was until I started the Candeo program. I had no clue why I craved pornography and masturbated without control. There were days when I pretty much decided I was a freak and that it would just have to be the way I lived my life.

But my life was a wreck. I lived in constant fear of being caught viewing porn and I was tired of running from real women. I wanted a relationship with a “real woman,” not a pornographic replacement. My masturbation addiction was keeping me from what I wanted in life.

I finally regained control of myself. I’m not listening to anyone who says porn and masturbation are not addicting. I’m living, breathing proof that it is. I’m now only going to listen to the teachings of the Candeo program, which have helped me regain control and understand my urges. I’m actively replacing my thoughts and desires with positive connections. I’ve never felt better about myself. I stopped masturbating.

Candeo’s message is simple: “You can stop masturbating. You don’t have to be addicted to masturbation any more. You don’t have to stay addicted to porn’s ‘self-medication’ for one more day.”

Candeo is a revolutionary new program that teaches and trains students about the nature of their pornography addiction and their masturbation addiction; and how to overcome it. Anonymous, private, safe, and completely accessible through our online portal. Candeo Personal Learning System takes you through a step-by-step process to rewire your brain and shed your habits of the past, free from the awful confines of a masturbation addiction.

Learn what Candeo can do for you by subscribing to our free Mini-Course. All we need is your name and email address, which we keep completely confidential. The Mini-Course will give you a glimpse into the full Candeo Program, which can change your life and put you on the path to a masturbation and porn-free life. Don’t wait, do it now. Only you can decide to enter the path that will set you on the course to freedom from pornography and masturbation addiction.

Chris

June 15, 2010 • 3:24 pm

I hope this will help to destroy my bad habit..

brezy

June 16, 2010 • 8:16 am

“I didn’t know I was until I started the Candeo program”
I love that. I love how Candeo takes your addiction and unmasks it, showing it for what it truly is: an addiction as strong as any hard drug. Its sobering to think of it like that, but I think it needs to be. We need to take it seriously and not underestimate its power. Luckily, we re given equally powerful tools to combat it.

shujuni

June 17, 2010 • 3:50 am

is it anonymous and private? I have had to admit to it yesterday after a long time failing to admit it was a problem for me :…

Steve Wells

June 17, 2010 • 12:07 pm

Yes, the program is completely anonymous and private. When you register, you receive private login information to gain access to the program on our SSL secured server. All communication with your program coach, other students and with your support people is done with your chosen screen name. If you would like to read our privacy, a link to it can be found at the bottom of this page.

john bob

June 17, 2010 • 5:40 pm

how so u sign up for candeo?

Steve Wells

June 17, 2010 • 5:46 pm

Excellent question. There is a “Sign Up Now” box in the upper-right side of the page. Or you can follow this link: Candeo Program Sign Up

Thanks for your interest in the program!

Sean

July 2, 2010 • 5:27 am

Same here. I just realized that this was a serious problem that I have to overcome and I will. I’m at an age now where it’s getting ridiculous just sitting around and wasting time masturbating where there are so many productive activities I can partake in. I’m really glad I found a few sites to deal with this matter.

Lindsey

July 9, 2010 • 10:58 pm

I have been deeply hurt by this habit! I know GOD can help me putt a stop to it!

Anymous

July 27, 2010 • 4:20 pm

First, thanks to be honest to say that over masturbating is an addiction. Second, I’m interested in the program, however, I have few questions. How long is each session with the trainer and how many times i can talk with the trainer per month . Also, I usually masturbate more than once every day from 5 years (I’m 22 years old), will quitting will set everything back to normal?..At last, will the program recommend some medicines?
Thank you so much for making me believe for the first time in my life, that i can really quit. (Sorry my English is somehow poor)

Sam

July 28, 2010 • 3:12 pm

I am tired of this bloody habit but i just can’t help it.Now only God can help me.I just want to get rid of this habit,its still hopeless.

i-Stopped

August 3, 2010 • 7:09 am

Hi Candeo,
I was so inspired when I got the strength to stop watching porn and wanking that I dedicated myself to helping guys find solutions out there through my site i-Stopped, http://istopped.wordpress.com. I am a church leader and would really like to know how to roll out the Candeo program for my church in Kenya. Porn is a big issue here and is eating up our society. We are even exporting porn now. Its in the top 10 exports.

i-Stopped.

Shark

August 13, 2010 • 4:32 pm

thnx man, if only ppl in this earth share knowledge and wisdom as u do as much as possible we may never face real problems at all, thnx again for the help.

Confused.

August 15, 2010 • 8:56 pm

Have tried to stop a few times with some success but kept thinking it’s only a matter of time. definitely need help. I can’t figure it out???

Richard

August 22, 2010 • 2:21 am

thanks for the tips “Candeo”, all what you said is helping me to fight masturbating

vikas

August 31, 2010 • 8:28 am

its worked for me i mostly control my habit of masturbation
i didn’t massturbate from few days and i’m feeling very good thanx candeo

lawson

August 31, 2010 • 4:00 pm

i dont want to be the guy doin this until he;s 30+.i need help badly im 23 now,and have been doing this from about 14 yrs

sam, am also facing addiction of masturbation.i hope to stop after signing up to ya program.

September 5, 2010 • 6:45 am

am hoping to break free from it in Jesus name

Alex

September 21, 2010 • 3:27 am

I am a drug-addict, alcoholic, smoker who through rehab, AA, NA, and a programme of daily recovery has been clean from drugs and alcohol for over ten months now, and clean from tobacco products for several months. The one thing that I have always struggled with, the one I am MOST powerless over, is PORN and MASTURBATION. A deeper and sudden involvement with a religious group who I can also be open and honest with about with my problem helped me to stay clean for two weeks, amazing. It seems to be getting better, but ultimately, I’d like to abolish the viewing of PORN and MASTURBATION. One thing I’d like to say is that most males seem to have encountered this problem, I always lied about my problem, but now that I have actively found others fighting for a new and better way of life, I am so encouraged. I’m more positive than ever that I can finally release myself into freedom from the one last thing that grips and strangles my life.

vic

October 7, 2010 • 5:57 pm

Iwant to stop now because i know this is a sen and i don´t want to do it any more

felix

October 9, 2010 • 8:46 pm

I’ll never stop fighting until I win the battle because the great day of my god its near.

Anonymous

October 16, 2010 • 8:57 am

I see a lot mentioned about “God” & “Jesus” helping make a recovery from porn addiction by many commenters-I am an atheist and I can’t help but ask-Is t his program another religious based gimmicks?

Tom

October 21, 2010 • 8:19 am

I see myself in mostly all of these testimonials. I often have sex w my beatiful wife and then masturbate again rt after we climax together.
If home alone at nt I will often mastubate 2-3 times to the same porn movie, the younger the girl the more I want do it. I do draw the line at child porn and rape thats a no no.
I want to stop so that my marriage will last and my sex life w my wife will thrive also..I am 48 yrs old and have been fighting this most of my life, I know I can overcome it I just need a little help to get me over the hump so to speak..

Louis

October 21, 2010 • 2:50 pm

hi anonymous, i haven’t signed up yet, but i did listen to the mini course, very interesting, i don’t think this is a religious based gimmick, more looking at the addiction/causes of addiction itself and the understanding of the thought processes involved, addiction is a possible problem faced by people of all races/cultures/religions, we need to link up emotionally/spiritually with something/someone, and if it is not God our creator that other link may very soon become addictive behaviour, personal question: have you ever asked God to reveal himself to you?

Paul

October 21, 2010 • 3:57 pm

Stumbling on this site, in search of porn no less, I have discovered that I’m not alone in this. The secret realm of pornography is it’s strongest ally in the war for our relationships (God’s and families) I’m a recovering abuse victim. I was raped for 4 years and stabbed in the stomach while I slept in the predator’s house. One thing I came to realize is that the predator wasn’t “gay” he had his addiction run horribly awry. He had a porn shrine! We can see it happening in our own addictions, starts out slowly, breasts gets our motors running, than full body, than soft than hard than multiple perhaps bi-curious than child. Where does it end? For my predator it ended with attempted homicide and successful suicide. After I woke up with the metal in my stomach and the look in his eyes I ran into the bathroom and that’s when I heard the gun shot. Don’t think it will happen to you? Ever finding yourself looking for NEW porn? Than the seed is planted.

I have High hopes now after years of therapy I WANT to live, but not on the same path as my predator. That’s why it ends TODAY. Thanks for support looking forward to the days of freedom.

queen

October 21, 2010 • 7:39 pm

God bless all of you who are trying to get free of the shackles of this addiction. God bless your loved ones. I hope it is not yet late and you can still save your relationship. For those of you who have never been in a serious relationship, I hope you can be free of this addiction so you can finally enter a real relationship.

God bless you. May you be healed.

Jon

November 18, 2010 • 7:49 am

I struggled with masturbation for years and have used porn for it, but the porn was always secondary to the masturbation. For example, I could masturbate without looking at porn and could easily masturbate without thinking any lustful thoughts or fantasies, but could never really look at porn without ending up masturbating. I am looking to break this habit, find a good woman and settle down and get married. I have masturbated as part of my “normal.” routine for entirely too long.

Edwin Delgado

November 18, 2010 • 2:09 pm

I look forward to overcoming this impediment to happiness

Stephanie

November 21, 2010 • 3:54 pm

I struggle with this the same way as Jon (above). Girls that are reading this, it’s not just men that can have such an addiction. I’m struggling with it right now, trying to stop because I want a good husband in the future and a real life. Porn and masturbation are so destructive and ruin everything you’ve worked for if they are left to fester for too long.
God bless everyone with this problem. You are not alone.

anonymous

December 6, 2010 • 12:34 pm

its tough, im 14 and ive been masturbating for about 2 or 3 weeks. I tell myself im going to stop but i cant help myself. A different me takes control.

December 7, 2010 • 11:34 am

I am getting a bit annoyed by all of the God and Jesus talk in these posts. Take responsibility for your own actions, don’t try and pass them off to a higher power. It’s YOU.

That said, I was about to sign up for this program thinking it was not secular, but now I am not sure. If this program works by describing brain chemistry and helpful ways to get around the cravings, fantastic.

But I’m not about to drop $500 on a course that just tells me to go find Jesus.

Anyone with Candeo care to respond?

Thanks,
Alex

Mark Kastleman

December 7, 2010 • 11:55 am

Alex:
The Candeo program does not contain any religious teachings—we leave that to each individual’s personal beliefs and preferences. Our program is based purely on the latest brain science, psychology and behavioral-change principles and tools. By the way, the cost for the program is $47 per month, with a 6-month commitment which = $282. Using the right knowledge, tools and daily practice, you CAN change your own brain—shrink unwanted behavior circuitry while building new healthy behavior circuitry. In essence, “change your brain, and you will change your life.” Everything you need to move forward with the change process is in the Candeo program. I hope you decide to give it a try.

Vinster

December 7, 2010 • 1:18 pm

Hey Alex,
Alcohol, Drugs and porn ruined my life. Found AA years ago as well as other recovery methods. The principles at Candeo have transformed my life. I found it harder to overcome the porn/masturbation addiction more than 20 years of substance abuse. Wish I would’ve had them for the drug and alcohol dependency. Been here almost two years. Best information on recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors I’ve ever been exposed to. Hope you join. Look for me in the forum under “Vinster.” Just read Mr. Kastleman’s description of the program and it’s spot on.

someone

March 15, 2011 • 12:32 pm

I’m getting freakin tired of my addiction. Every freakin day its the same thing, over and over and over again. After I climax, every freakin time i feel soooo bad, then i do it again, sometimes 10 minutes rite after! everyday i’m feeling very very bad!!! i want to stop this now!!! but i dont have the money to buy these candeo lessons! I’m so madd rite now!!!! i even have a major headache rite now!!!^$*#($*#@^!!!!!

MarkH

March 17, 2011 • 8:35 am

Someone – Read this article, hopefully it helps.

http://candeohealthysexuality.com/porn-drives-me-crazy/

eva

March 21, 2011 • 12:44 am

Once a masturbation become excessive and compulsive it is addiction in masturbation and now that we are in our modern technology porn is really on the way. it’s so easy to access at porn site that usually leads to porn addiction. the victims are no limits regardless if you’re in your teen age, or an old age. usually porn addiction ruined a marriage life and who is the usual victims of it, of course the partner and the children. it’s just sad that sexual addiction is like a disease that many are facing now.

April 6, 2011 • 8:54 pm

It’s really hard to beat addiction but your determination would be your key to success in your recovery. Just keep the fight because later on you will be free of this.

bad boy

June 19, 2011 • 3:34 am

please help me to stop this bad thing & i warn people not to do it

Oleg

July 24, 2011 • 6:30 pm

yeah, i have been clean for about two weeks. i feel the power.

addicted

August 12, 2011 • 2:02 pm

One cannot overcome this addiction unless it’s cause can be dealt with.One compulsively masturbates to escape from some sort of turmoil in life.Once that problem ends, we automatically get a strong will power & tend to become busy with other activities as well.But unfortunately no one can fight his/her problems that lead to this addiction as long as he/she masturbates.And the problems themselves don’t go away.Many people don’t even know their main problems that lead to this escapism.I know mine.Find your main obstacle in life & pray that it goes away because masturbation will only make you forget about the problem temporarily.If you somehow get rid of the problem, the urge to ejaculate every now & then will itself go away.
Understood?

manie

November 2, 2011 • 4:10 pm

I’ve been masturbating for over 10 years, and now I’m experiencing week erection when i’m with a woman. Is this a result of excessive masturbation? Will this problem be solved if i stop masturbating? I really need help.

Bill

January 15, 2012 • 10:27 am

Hi Manie, yes, I believe that over masturbating can lead to a weak erection. I am married and have noticed that problem with me. As soon as I cut down on the frequency of how often I would masturbate, I noticed a harder erection with my wife. The opposite is true also. As soon as I started to increase the masturbating, the less time I could keep it hard, and the less hard it became. I am trying now to only masturbate when I am with her, more as a mutual thing between husband and wife. I haven’t been too successful in those efforts, but I’m still trying.

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