Submitted by a Candeo Student
I’ve been in the Candeo program for a few months and the stuff I’m learning really got me thinking about this whole masturbation thing. I started masturbating when I was about 13 and I did it regularly all during my teen years. A lot of times I did it with porn and other times just to fantasies in my mind and sometimes I did it for a quick rush or just to get to sleep. It wasn’t a big deal and it wasn’t hurting any one, it was convenient and free, and it was just a natural, normal urge. But it got out of control where I couldn’t “not” do it and that really pissed me of, like something was controlling me and I was a slave to it. I don’t like to be controlled. That is one of the big reasons I signed up for the Candeo program so I could get my freedom back, so I could get back in charge of my own life.
About the time I started looking at the Candeo website, I was also taking a psychology class in college. We were studying about how the human brain and body follow a kind of “use it or lose it” approach. As we talked about it I started to make a connection to masturbation. I know that sounds weird but hear me out.
Our body is majorly efficient. If we stop using something, it shrinks or totally shuts down all together. Here’s an example. I have a sister who was in an accident and messed up her knee. She had an operation and was on crutches. She was supposed to go through physical therapy and start putting weight on her leg gradually and build it up. She didn’t like the work and pain so she stayed on the crutches and didn’t follow through on the physical therapy. The result was very limited range of motion, lost muscle, scar tissue built up and she can’t walk well to this day. Because she wouldn’t do the hard work and took the easy route of relying on her “crutch,” her body didn’t use all of its healing and building capacities and powers. Yeah, she can get around, but now she has to have her crutches just to function at a super basic level. Compare this to what would’ve happened if she hadn’t totally relied on the crutches but had done the physical therapy work. It would have taken longer and a lot more work, but today she would be walking, running, doing recreational stuff—she would have the freedom to do whatever she wants instead of being a slave to her crutches.
So how does this compare to masturbation? Every time I felt stressed, pressure, depressed, bored, lonely or just wanting a rush I ran to my crutch, masturbation, which was quick and easy and free. But every time I turned to that I became more dependent on it, like my sister’s crutches, and at same time I wasn’t developing any other skills to deal with my challenges. So like muscles not being used, those other capacities and powers and abilities shriveled up and became mostly useless. So when I was lonely or bored or stressed, instead of dealing with those in a self building and developing way I took the easy, quick route of masturbation. This made me a really narrow person who became weaker and weaker and more and more dependent on my crutch or my drug. To put it bluntly, I was a slave to it.
I tried just fighting the urge, just forcing the thought out of my head but that was a joke. I could only fight it so long until I gave in every time. Then the Candeo program taught me how to start using my other coping skills and abilities. How to stop relying on my crutch and start developing and building healthy skills. The trouble is that masturbation releases a ton of natural chemicals in the brain just like with a drug addiction and my brain became wired to rely on the chemical release for all kinds of situations in my life. As I learned to use other outlets and responses I noticed that the urge to masturbate lessened more and more. At first it was pretty tough, but I just kept at it and over some time I felt myself breaking free. This was so amazing because I never thought I could get to that point. I still have some times where I fall back into it, but they are fewer and fewer. It’s getting to the point where it’s just not that big of a deal and really there are a lot of other things I enjoy more. The biggest pay off of all this is that I don’t feel like a slave any more—I actually have my freedom back and that is worth everything.
—————–
Candeo is Devoted to Helping Pornography Addicts Start Down the Path of Healing
Candeo is an online organization whose mission is to educate and train individuals about the realistic, scientifically proven nature of Pornography Addiction.
It is estimated that in the U.S. alone, there are more than 60 million individuals, including men, women and children, caught up in Internet Pornography Addiction at some level. Pornography use is having a dramatic impact on their individual lives, families and society as a whole.
Candeo’s groundbreaking training system is an online Pornography Addiction Psycho-Education & Training System. This website contains many resources to help you learn more about this exciting new approach to helping those who are Addicted to Pornography.
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Matt
August 13, 2009 • 4:39 am
Yeah I’m the same, each time I get bored and lonely etc like you stated, I turn to masturbation and porn to liven things up, sounds pretty sad doesn’t it? But it sure does the job. I had a period a few months ago where I decided to be strong and use other outlets instead masturbation after reading an inspiring candeo article. I did it for a month and then I fell back in, why? Not because I was weak, not because I lost control, because it was the easier option and it felt good. I chose to go back and haven’t really stopped since. It definitely has mental effects on me, but apart from that it doesn’t really bother me too much, and when I’m ready to take hold of my life, mentally and physically, I’ll jump those barriers then.
Romeo
August 13, 2009 • 5:12 am
Great article I love the Candeo site and ofcourse if I had money I would have signed for the real thing
J
August 13, 2009 • 5:34 am
Matt,
Sounds like you’re giving up (or giving in rather). For the last few months everytime I have turned to porn and masturbation, which is 3-4 times a week, I say “Man, I’m NEVER gonna be able to quit…”. But in’gonna stop being so negative. I am not about to sit here and declare myself “porn-free” cause hell TWO days ago I did it, but I am just going to focus on what I DO want, instead of focusing on what I DON’T want and see if that works. It’s not about being strong, it’s about not caring about porn.
Anonymous
August 13, 2009 • 6:29 am
I can relate to this. A life long addiction to porn and masturbation finally hit bottom and I burned my nuero-transmitters out. (No sensation at the end of the act.) What followed was depression, anxiety, and thoughts of suicide and death. I relied on mansturbation to feed my brain which then turned into a chemical cocktail. My relationships suffered and my mental health was at a bottom. I felt like dying. As a person with an addicted brain, (alcohol, gambling, sex, etc.) I substituted the other activities with porn and mansturbation. Now, I have been ‘clean’ for 6 weeks and the complusion to mansturbate has left me. (My higher power at work) I am back in a twelve step program along with medication for depression, anxiety, and obessive complusive traits. You cannot substitute a normal, loving, relationship with a cheap trill, there is a price to pay.
Raymond
August 13, 2009 • 6:59 am
I have masturbated from a very young age, i am now 27 and i have been free from masturbation for 2 weeks now. We as men and children of God need to build on our relationship with him and remain in his word. Do i masturbate now and then giving in to the flesh, yes, but i am striving for sanctification and purity. I never want to masturbate again. Remain in jesus and he will remain in you.
Wife of sex addict
August 13, 2009 • 8:11 am
You’re kidding yourself, Matt. Pretending is for kids. The adult word for pretending is denial. You’ll keep putting it off until you have no choice anymore. You’ll hit a bottom like losing your wife and kids, and you’ll keep wallering in it. Get smart and get help while you still have a chance.
Markus
August 13, 2009 • 9:34 am
Up until my most recent attempt to stop my porn addiction, I never realized that there were chemicals released during sex and masturbation. I read somewhere that drug addiction is easier to cure because at least you can purge the addictive drug from your body. Not so, pornography. Those images are in your mind (some of them) forever. I’ve never before tried to kick the masturbation habit as part of my porn addiction and I’ve always failed and gone right back into it. This time, I’m working on the masturbation issue. I used to masturbate 2, 3, sometimes 4 or 5 times a day. It was a daily ritual/habit. Now, I’m finding I can go longer. My current record is 5 days and I’m attacking it now with the hopes of killing the desire for it altogether.
sanjiv
August 13, 2009 • 10:18 am
I have the same problems and in deep trouble . I wish to do the programme but donot have any financial resources
another addicted
August 13, 2009 • 11:28 am
Everything goes through your eyes, I’m trying to clean my soul .Everytime I watch porn and masturbate i feel that I’m cheating to my Girlfriend and God. I’m praying more and more to released this addiction, I want to be a New ME . I stop doing it now for 5 days so far and I want to continue, I don’t want The Devil win this Game. Good Luck to everybody , The real deal is to find Love , but we need to start looking inside us FIRST. Every time we Watched Porn we making our Soul DIRTY, a better sex satisfaction will come with our partners when we find Love . Thanks Candeo for the e-mail always sent to me , I feel that I’m not by myself. Good Luck to everybody !!
Lhuppe
August 13, 2009 • 12:14 pm
I marry a man who had a prolem with masturbation. When he was 10 an older boy teach him to do it.. The rest of his life he involved in mastrubation, phornograpy, lonsome, shy indivudual. He graduated in Enginner and his addiction was on high. I meet him at 35 and it seems to me he did not know how to have a relationship with a women. I was 26 and he was 27. I was naive and fall for him. He did not seem to be interested on me much and we never tune in sex “something was strange” I never knew he had this porblem and he never told me. I left him when I was 34 I was very upset and frustraded as women. I wanted to have children and marry and he didn’t seem to be interested or he was but he acted strange. I left marry later had a boy. It didn’t work out and when my boy was 9 months old I divorce and come back to him. He seemd to me a “nice man” but I never figure out his “big secret”. He took care of my boy and was very caring and responsabilte. When my boy was around 9-10 I found tons of phornography on his computer. I figure then why we didn’t had sex and he wasn’t interest. The worst was he was carlessly doing in and I wonder how much he did expose my son to his “evil” addiction carlessly. I went for 5 years taking him to therapy for him and and later for my son. With counseling from church, school, non christian therapy and christian they have at list it seems to be educated about the harms of this addiction. Him and me do not engage in sex for years, years…I feel sorry for him and I have stay marry. I very alert for my son now 16 taking him to counseling and opnly talk about this problem. I have another son 10 years old who was conceive out of my marriage to him. He is responsile, hard worrker, nice person but very bad companion as partner husband wife relationship. He is miserable but he is smart enough now to understand the hobby he engage himself in and seem harmless ruin, destroy his personal life, intemacy, relationship with any women. I have being nice enough to stay until he understand his problems and tries to turn around and change. It is very difficult the older you get. I talk to my two boys about this and the dangers og engaging in this carless activity. I try to keep them busy in sports and to master communication skills in order to find pleasure on meeting people and help people in different ways. If my bad experience as women with a man with this kind of problem help to realize to what extent you are damaging yourself emotionally, physically and mentally I will have done my job sharing my experience. I feel as women never have acomplish a healthy sex life because it takes two thats why marriage is for and when it is healthy is very good. Sometimes women are blame for fooling around with other man but you never know until you “walk on her shoes” in my case having my boys in this circumstances wasn’t what I have always dream. But at list I become a mother and have my two boys. Be careful and keep yourself busy in healthy hobbies. God Bless
Steve
August 13, 2009 • 12:23 pm
I have been saying the same things as most of you, Ie: its no big deal, I’ll stop when I want to, etc. Let me tell you that this is a progressive addiction and your behavior will become riskier and more dangerous as time goes on. The end result MUST BE a crisis, and I mean a CRISIS. My crisis happenned last Friday. In the last 6 days my marriage (27 years) has irrevocably fallen apart, my children are mortified and rageful, my extended family is in disbelief, I will loose my house and my job soon. I cant eat, sleep or stop thinking about all the damage I have done, while all along thinking I was harming no one. Please understand that compulsive masturbation is sexual addiction and will end in CRISIS. Please read just one chapter of ANY book on sexual addiction, especially cyber, and try to see yourself before you loose everything. The words above from ‘wife of sex addict’ arent strong enough. Imagine loosing your wife and kids. This is for real.
ali
August 13, 2009 • 3:22 pm
for me, the biggest lesson to recovery is understanding, and that, exposure to logic and reasoning for my actions in a way releases chemicals that is opposite to that which is destructive.
ever since i found other students and sufferers with similar trends and dysfunctions, then being stimulated by porn and masturbation was less and less appropriate.
i find that the more i read and listen to the podcasts etc.. the more i’m resolved, and my time more productively spent and the gain from this far more diverse and just….
Kyle
August 13, 2009 • 3:49 pm
The ultimate problem for me is plain old lust! Without lust there isn’t any need to look at porn or masterbate. Who looks at porn thinking about fishing or masterbates thinking about the color of the sky??? You don’t because the name of the game is lust. My question is how do you kill the need/urge for LUST? I can try not thinking about females or play mind games or look for diversions but in our super sensual culture there is always someone to look at and lust after almost no matter where you turn. I can be doing good and then look out my window and a sexy woman in spandex is jogging by at that moment or a Sandals beach commercial plays on the TV or my wife leaves a fitness magazine lying around and that’s all it takes…my mind falls off the cliff and the lust demon grabs hold and the fight is on again. I don’t even need porn to get my fix, just a pretty face and sexy woman in the real world and my lust explodes in my brain. It’s a constant struggle and I’m not quite sure how I’m going to beat it for good. Yes it causes problems in my life, my wife is 35 and had 2 children and has a realistic body, not the perfect fantasy body of women on tv or the 20 yr old jogging by my window which my lust tells me I need in order to be satisified. For years I dealt with my lust and “need for that hotter body” with masterbation but it’s never enough and I hate how it’s hurt my relationship with my wife. I want to have true intimacy with her and not this cheap substitution but the lust demon never seems to back off! Does anyone else have this problem or any suggestions?? It seems the more I fight my lust the more I want to lust and the more I wish to desire my wife the more I look at other women. It sucks!!!!
Geoff W
August 13, 2009 • 8:48 pm
Very good article and makes alot of sense. The candedo mini course has helped alot, I intend to sign up for the whole thing.
Im feeling good and clean (12 days today), realising that Im no longer narrowing my brain with my past destructive and isolating behaviour.
Anonymous
August 14, 2009 • 4:25 am
I’ve been dating someone for several months with a masturbation addiction and although he has agreed to see someone and is doing so, it is very difficult to be on the receiving side of rejection day after day. I believe that this addiction has caused our relationship to go from the closest thing to perfection two people could find to a life of doubt, insecurity and possibly a no win situation. For me I’ve been accused of him being my pet project, to being told that its not my fault and I shouldn’t take it personal. Well regardless of who had the addiction it is very personal for both people involved. In my opinion men need to also step back and acknowledge the pain that this addiction causes to their significant other. For me personally I no longer want to have a sexual relationship because the pain is to hard to bare. The irony is, this man is and I hope will always be my greatest gift, I value him for so much more then the addiction and yet all he can see is pain. I once said that someday God would grant me the one person that I would be willing to claw my way out of any situation with, I have found this in him. The irony is he is the one that says he can’t feel the love I have for him. I enjoy reading what Candeo has taught me but realistic I’m not sure how much more I can endure, One sexual appetite vs. a healthy reltionship with another, I guess many will say I just don’t understand and they will probably be 100% correct. From this womans point of view I have only one question… How as a woman are we suppose to embrace the one we love when the demon where fighting is within them? Talk about a hopeless feeling. Men go home, be kind, foriving and even humble yourselves when the one next to you just hurts… they to are hurting. As a woman its very lonely to never feel like enough and to no with the debths of your soul you may never be what your loved one desires. Any advice… he truly is and will always be the love of my life… even flawed.
lost and confused
August 14, 2009 • 4:26 am
I’ve been dating someone for several months with a masturbation addiction and although he has agreed to see someone and is doing so, it is very difficult to be on the receiving side of rejection day after day. I believe that this addiction has caused our relationship to go from the closest thing to perfection two people could find to a life of doubt, insecurity and possibly a no win situation. For me I’ve been accused of him being my pet project, to being told that its not my fault and I shouldn’t take it personal. Well regardless of who had the addiction it is very personal for both people involved. In my opinion men need to also step back and acknowledge the pain that this addiction causes to their significant other. For me personally I no longer want to have a sexual relationship because the pain is to hard to bare. The irony is, this man is and I hope will always be my greatest gift, I value him for so much more then the addiction and yet all he can see is pain. I once said that someday God would grant me the one person that I would be willing to claw my way out of any situation with, I have found this in him. The irony is he is the one that says he can’t feel the love I have for him. I enjoy reading what Candeo has taught me but realistic I’m not sure how much more I can endure, One sexual appetite vs. a healthy reltionship with another, I guess many will say I just don’t understand and they will probably be 100% correct. From this womans point of view I have only one question… How as a woman are we suppose to embrace the one we love when the demon where fighting is within them? Talk about a hopeless feeling. Men go home, be kind, foriving and even humble yourselves when the one next to you just hurts… they to are hurting. As a woman its very lonely to never feel like enough and to no with the debths of your soul you may never be what your loved one desires. Any advice… he truly is and will always be the love of my life… even flawed.
Matt
August 14, 2009 • 4:52 am
To ‘J’ and ‘Wife of sex addict’, your both right and yes ‘J’ I know it’s not about being strong because that obviously doesn’t work, it about not even thinking about it, ‘not caring’ and keeping yourself busy with a healthy lifestyle. And yes your right again ‘J’, it does look as if I’m giving in and probably am to an extent, but I’m choosing to, and that’s my choice for the time being. To ‘Wife of sex addict’ I’m not in denial, I know what I’m doing is wrong and is affecting me on more than one level, but trust me, I will stop and seek help if necessary as I am overly determined not to let this addiction control me, and for the most part, it’s not.
Adam
August 14, 2009 • 1:09 pm
Hey Kyle – your addiction is to lust and you act out with masterbation and pornography. I am a recovering sexaholic and I assure you that your addiction is not just abusing you, it’s abusing your wife – relationally and sexually. So, in essence, you are a Love Cripple and you have become a great Luster and not a great Lover. You cannot control billboards or magazine covers or tv programs, but you can control your eyes. I have found that both prayer AND fasting help me stay sober. Fasting from food kills the flesh and it will help you learn self control. Sexuality will jump out at you, and you need to learn strategies and techniques to divert yourself from taking in Lust. It took you a while to become a great Luster, so it will take you a while to become a great Lover. It sounds like you understand that Lust is too powerful and it always wants more and that it never satisfies. I can tell you from experience that part of your recovery plan is to starve Lust. It takes a lot of work – internet filters, getting rid of cable, cooperation from your wife, connection with other men that you can reach out to when you are struggling. Our addiction was a process, but we want our healing to be an event; and when we experience the pain of healing, we resort back to our old trick – Lust – because it just feels good – or so we think…..
tina
August 14, 2009 • 4:25 pm
I see no response from ladies, so that makes me ashamed and feel bad that I struggle with masturbation and I believe it was picked up as a spirit, it was a time I did not like porn could not stand to watch it, eventually I found myself watching and having pleasure while watching, I am faithful in church and a true believer and fight the battle everyday, especially since my job is at home on the computer.
destroying myself
August 14, 2009 • 4:49 pm
It all started when i was in elementry school, around 6th grade my school had assembly about how babies are made,(girls and boys had different assemblys) And that we need deoderant and other stuff the basic puberty talk. And then they talked about masturbation, they said its normal and that everybody does it , I never knew anything about masturbation before then so i started masturbating almost evryday trying to catch it on cable when i could masturbating in the bathroom for hours.I started stealing pornos from liquer stores , i even went in with a mask one time and ran out with a stack of empty boxes. And it just kept getting worse, i started going to highschool and would come home and watch music videos trying to catch some girls that i liked or put on mexican t.v. becaause the girls wore real skimppy nclotghes on those showsm, It has taken over my life now i jack off all day and night to the point that i have to call in work because i didnt sleep, before i got a computer i was stealing pornos from my job risking my future . im killing myself again because it happened like an hour ago with my girl friend, but its not her fault Its me and if i dont stop my penis will probably stop working sexually forever, she caught me jerking off on here family computer ( not the first time she has ) but this time its her familys computer and i feel that im going to lose everything to this masturbation and porno addiction.She is still trying to help me she took my computer away and is going to put child locks on it for me. bSeriosly im 23 and i have to have a child lock? I want people to read this and realize that if you have a problem you need help cause it is to hard on your own. I am gonna be 24 years old and i have almost lost my girlfriend my ability to have sex my job my soul i am wasting away my life and i know i have a problem , so theres no more excuses and everthing that happens from here on out is my fault and all of our faults. i dont want this and i need help , i just hope i am strong enough to pull myself out.
dovo_candeo
August 14, 2009 • 8:04 pm
I guess masturbation ruins it all. Destroys everything that’s good. What happened to love? Are we all objects? NO!
P.E.
August 16, 2009 • 2:10 pm
I turn to internet porn/masturbation whenever I’m feeling depressed & lonely which unfortunately is a majority of my free time. I’ve fought depression for years & this is definitely a fix that gives a rush of pleasure. What’s bad is overall (especially after the acts of masturbation) you feel much more down in the dumps and weak because you couldn’t control your own temptation.
You really have to occupy your time with positive events & habits in order to combat these negative/wanting urges. I found that seeing a hot girl with little shorts; etc. & using the Candeo method of (there’s more to her than just looks under God) is a joke. I’m always going to admire the sheer beauty & sexuality that a girl presents so I’ve disregarded that angle. But, living a healthy mental way of life helps to stop any negatives (including masturbation). There’s great methods here, don’t get me wrong. But that particular, virtuous, holy man angle doesn’t fly with this Girl-lover.
Kyle
August 17, 2009 • 12:04 am
Thank you Adam. It means a lot to me right now getting support and encouragement from anyone at all and especially if they’ve gone through this! I could write a book on how I got to this point and how it’s hurt every aspect of my life, spiritual, family, etc… The past 3 weeks have been hell. I couldn’t stand the guilt anymore and confessed to my wife all of my sexual addictions. She is awesome and supportive and truly wants to help me and save our marriage. I just feel so weak and am looking, reading, praying, and talking to people about how to deal with and beat this. I know I have to now because if I don’t I will face destruction and my life will be consumed by it! Thank you again Adam and if you read this post again and have anymore insight I’d gladly accept it. God Bless.
T
August 17, 2009 • 3:20 am
That is exactly how I feel after not being a slave to masturbation anymore. There are so many other things to enjoy out there. I am sure to keep congratulating myself on a job well done at the end of each day. Now I can add 101% to other aspects of my life without feeling shame or hiding because someone might find out my secret. This is the greatest feeling ever
Matt in UK
August 17, 2009 • 5:59 pm
Aside from going through cognative behavioural therapy I check out any other means of treatment on this subject and it’s annoying to see constant religon references from other sites! I am an atheist and would like to know if this course doesn’t refer to A ‘god’ as I’m not into that at all. All I want to do is shake the habit and do my best without being weighed down with a habit that takes up my time when I could be doing many other productive things in life.
dude
August 20, 2009 • 2:18 pm
my question is what should we do to lessen our urge to watch these things??
beacuse if we tend to force it out, it’ll just come back, so what should we do to PERMANENTLY or reduce this addiction…
i would like to know fast
please and thanks
Thank you Candeo
John
August 24, 2009 • 2:27 am
ihad given up masturbation years ago due to the feeling of catholic guilt and the depressed feeling that happens right after i was done i got a computer 6 months ago and was amazed by the amount of free porn its unbelievable! i still dont masturbate which almost makes it worse cause i will watch porn for 4-5 hrs nightly still feel like a a sinner even just watching being a single guy it is tough to not get bored and watch but then always have had an addictive personality whether it was drugs alcohol gambling etc… im glad i found this and other sites that have people with similar addictions i feel better already just writing about it i think internet porn the hardest to quit cause it so accesible its like a few clicks and you engulfed in a world of lust and fantasy guess its mind over matter gona be a tough battle but i think me and everyone else can conquer the addiction a brief bout of pleasure for an eternity of damnation does not sound to appealing in the long run jesus loves us and knows we are sinners just have to try hard and minimize the sin and lust god bless all!
joe
August 26, 2009 • 10:18 pm
Hi I’m young teen 17 years old and I had this addiction for about 4-5 years already and I’m not a stupid kid everytime I have done this I felt down and bad I tried to stop and went back! I went out with girls but I couldn’t keep them I don’t know its not that I’m not a good looking kid I’m pretty cute lol but I guess it was bc I didn’t see the real thing in them or what they r truly made of not there body parts!! And they come and go and I don’t want and i know its bc of this addiction, my parents r not hard on me they know my probably but I guess it just faded away. And no
w I want to take a stand for my self and my future!! So I started like going to the gym and stuff like that but its still in me and I can’t stop I go to sleep late bc of it and waste a whole day I can stick to sum thing!!! Its killing me and my head!! Teenagers out there or anyone this is a big probably and there nothing to be shy about work with ur self get better ull feel happier and that ur being productive!! If u want to talk about th
is or anything send me a an email ytictac@gmail.com this is very important this is the key to success in anything u do it!! And will make u a better person for really!!!
unsureofitall
August 27, 2009 • 11:18 am
I really enjoyed your article, it opened my eyes to understand my husbands addiction. He is a member and all that, but, I see him reverting and he doesn’t. He is in denial about his lust issue and his addiction. He feels because he hasn’t relapsed in a while he is “cured” he is so foolish sometimes. So proud, and egotistic. How can you be cured from an addiction you have had for 20+ years in 2 months? Foolish…..Please pray for us, and pray that we make it. Sometimes I don’t know. He has had emoitional affairs, porn addiciton, masturbation issues, I am so frustrated and I am tired of the rejection, the lies, and the hurt. I just want him to be real and honest with God, then with me. Because, I am at my wits end. I hope he gets to the place were you are.
heartbroken
August 28, 2009 • 12:50 pm
Porn and masturbation are suicide on a family. My ex-husband became addicted to pornography at age 8 thru a cousin, it continued even until today and he is 50 now. Unfortunately, his porn addiction like any addiction after a time wasn’t enough….and eventually he got into illegal activities and ended up in prison for 9 years. You may be thinking that will never happen to you but that is what he thought. He is out of prison now and struggles daily with this addiction still and he went thru 8 years of therapy in prison and even now on a weekly basis. He destroyed himself and his family bit by bit and now his kids have had it with him, they don’t know why he doesn’t love them enough to stop and are to the point where they do not want anything to do with him. This is NOT something to take lightly, take it from someone who is completely heartbroken with 3 kids who have broken hearts and a man, scared, lonely, confused as to why he can’t kick the habit and the knowledge, he has given up everything for fantasy. So please guys and girls, take this seriously for yourself and your family.
Lorac
September 5, 2009 • 2:39 pm
This is definately an issue with my boyfriend. Hes had it for 20 years. To all the wives/girlfriends hang onto YOUR sanity and try not to focus on HIS addiction. I know thos is extremely hard for me right now. But i am also at my witts end. I choose to set the boundary for myself and my two yr old little girl. If this continues, i will leave! And right now I have not the resources to- but I have to prepare. Prayer helps too. Blessings….
husband addiction kills me
March 8, 2011 • 5:29 pm
I was introduced to my husband by my brother 14yrs ago. My brother said what a nice and kind guy you should give him a chance. Trusting my brother i did. The day we got married he watched porn so i couldn’t be with him intimately. I didn’t know he said he was feeling under the weather. I bought it like a FOOL!!!!! He wanted 2 get me a computer for my anniversary gift ooh my god i thought this man was so wonderful for thinking of me. But liitle did i know he was thinking of porn sites. They were popping up everywhere on my computer and he had all kinds of video cards so he can rent movies. He was off work i was working at the time and our cable bill 500 – 600.00 dollars a month. Tried 2 convience myself it wasn’t him since other people were in our home. Then he asked our 22 year old son to take the blame for renting the movies and our son said mom it was me i am so sorry. I was getting a upgrade on my phone but he wanted because he had internet and he told me his boss wanted him to send his time in through the e-mail i was like ok. I had to get a number from his phone and i found so much porn but not just porn young girls with tight jeans and t-shirts on. I am beginning to hate this man so much i want 2 %&$#&% KILL NOW!!!!!!!!!! Someone help me my soul is crying out what is wrong with me. I am a child of a rapist thats how i came into this world now this why am i so &%#$% up that i cannot be loved by anyone? I get every morning with my husband at 3:00a.m and fix his lunch for him and when it snow i get the snow off his car and heat it up for him because i thought he loved me. I AM A DAMN FOOL AND I KNOW IT I WANT A DIVORCE BECAUSE I AM GOING TO KILL HIM OR LOSE MY DAMN MIND I THINK I HAVE LOST MY MIND ALREADY. He looks at porn at work in the parking garage so thats why he leaves out so early in the morning. I just refuse to believe in this bs because i was addicted to gambling since i didn’t have a husband but it was hurting our marriage and i signed myself off the boat for life. But he JUST KEEP ON LYING SAYING I AM GOING 2 STOP. LIAR LIAR LIAR!!!!!! Now he’s on the phone pretending that he wants help. I do not and will not trust this man ever, ever, ever, again!!! sign x-tremely hurt and betrayed