Written by kevindavis on December 18, 2008 in Blog, Brain Science of Addiction, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - 1 Comment

I just had a terrific athlete come into my office who is struggling with a pornography addiction. He has been to five other therapists and to a program that specialize in sexual addiction. I asked him how he has tried to overcome his addiction. He said through trying not to think about it, lots of therapy, keeping himself busy, etc. etc. etc.

I said, So basically through “avoidance”. He acknowledged that was true. He was shocked at my excitement. I explained I was excited because avoidance doesn’t work, it only makes it worse. He smiled. I quizzed him if he had become a great athlete through avoidance? Now he was laughing. I said, “If you want to be good at something, what do you have to do” “Practice”, he said. “Right! If you develop a bad habit in sports how do you overcome it?” “You practice doing what’s right over and over until it is a habit.” Exactly! I said. “If you are confronted with a sexual thought or stimulus you habitually go down this road. What would happen if you practiced going down another road?” You could see the light go on. He got it.

Sex is one of the greatest things God has placed on this earth. You can follow it down one road or take it down another road. One is hell and one is heaven. One is lonely and isolated the other is fulfilling, deeply meaningful, intimate and committed.

Practicing something over and over repetitiously actually changes our brain. It becomes a deeply ingrained habit. This is a scientific fact. We don’t have to think about walking, talking, writing, typing, or driving. We have done them so much they are automatic. We can do this with anything! It can be behaviors, thoughts, attitudes or even the way we relate to others. This isn’t rocket science — it’s psychology — it’s life! He is on his road to recovery! He gets it. He has done this kind of change frequently; he’s an athlete; he’s a human being.